These are not fashion ‘don’ts’ because I actually like them. Instead they’re my fashion ‘won’ts’ because for one reason or another I cannot bring myself to wear them.
Every summer the heat rises, the ice cream man emerges and I find myself looking at a pair of camo shorts. I never buy them, just look, sometimes I even try them on, but never buy. I like the look when I see them on other people, but something inside me won’t let me purchase them, a voice saying “too cliché.”
Any Sunglasses from Casino
For me Casino functions as hardcore sunglasses porn, everything is big, it’s in your face and it gets you thinking “hey, I could pull that off.” It warps your mind. They say never go food shopping on an empty stomach; well I say never go sunglasses shopping after watching Casino.
I think my aversion to backpacks goes back to my school days. I ditched my backpack in middle school as a statement, “no more backpacks or packed lunches, that’s kid stuff.” Truth be told there are a lot of times a backpack would come in quite handy but I have a mental block about it, worse comes to worst I slink on a drawstring bag.
Red pants or really any color pants for that matter. I get tired of straight jeans, grey, black and blue. Sometimes, I’ll even mix in the occasional khaki. I like when I see a guy with different color pants on, but sadly I don’t have the balls to pull that off.
The hipster trademark (along with Buddy Holly glasses and Mr. Rogers cardigans). Hey, my head gets cold too, but I cannot bring myself to dip into the hipster depths of beanies, next thing you know I’ll be drinking PBRs and getting ironic tattoos.
UPDATE 5/20/2012: About a week ago I caved, and bought a pair of camo shorts.