The Greg Massaro Power Rankings

Here it is.  The first ever power rankings of what I deem important/what’s amazing/what I’m thinking about right now at this exact point in time.

Notable omissions  the Knicks/honey nut cheerios, NFL playoffs, Jimmy Fallon

8.  CharlieRose.com

My main source of “entertainment” for the last week has been watching old/newish Charlie Rose episodes on his site.  I’ve gone into my Charlie Rose fetish (sorry for that visual) in previous posts, so I won’t bore you, but two things hold it back from being higher on the list, 1) for some reason the site ceases to exist between midnight and 1 am (?), 2) no video pre-2010 works.  What the ‘F’ Charlie?

7.  Girls

Girls is due back on TV soonish, like this Sunday, I think.  I’ve already made my love of this show known and I’m ready for my next dose of Hannah.  Plus, Donald Glover aka Childish Gambino aka Troy Barnes shows up this season, so that should be good.  I’m totally all in on Girls II: Electric Boogaloo.

6.  Platinum Coin

If you’re not following this news story, it’s just ridiculous, supposedly there is a slim chance that the government will mint a 1 trillion dollar coin to avoid a debt crisis.  File this under the “it’s just crazy enough it might work” level of governance.  While I’m not an economist, this is just plain stupid and I kind of hope it happens.

5.  Kristen from Top Chef

If you’ve watched Top Chef at all this season, you’ll probably agree it’s been a pretty boring season.  Outside of Kristen, no cheftestant has any personalty.  And outside Kristen, no cheftestant has a chance to win.  Mixing her boyish haircut and abnormally long neck, she wins nearly every challenge and makes me super jealous whenever Stephon hits on her.

4,  Baseball Hall of Fame

Things I hate, cheaters (it’s number one on my list).  Today, the baseball Hall of Fame elected exactly zero new members, I kind of thought Craig Biggio would get in, he’ll get it eventually, but more importantly the BBHoF gave a big fuck you to known steroid cheat-faces like Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds, it also gave a kind of nut tap to, guilty by bacne association, Mike Piazza.  I don’t care if these guy had Hall of Fame credentials even before they cheated, they disgraced the game and deserve to be punished.

3.  Rihanna

Rihanna themed tumblrs is one of only two reasons I still frequent tumblr.   She is the sexist human being alive (I will fight anyone that says otherwise) and Pour It Up is already in heavy consideration as my favorite song of the New Year (even though I guess “technically” it was released last year).  I’m going to say it again, if anyone knows RiRi pass her my digits (631-680-xxxx).

2.  Arrested Development

I’ve totally jumped back into binge watching Arrested Development on Hulu over the last week.  It’s even funnier then I remember.  I laugh out loud at least four or five times each episode.  Add to that, the recent announcement of new episodes coming May and, yeah, I’m excited.

1.  New Girl

I’m just going to say it, New Girl is my favorite show on TV right now.  I’m fairly sure Nick Miller is based on my life.  Zooey Deschanel is absolutely adorkable (I hate that I just used that word, but it’s perfect).  And Nick and Jess GIFS are the number two reason I still pay attention to tumblr.  I love everything about this show and I don’t care if that somehow makes me less of a man.  (more of my thoughts on New Girl here)

Jeter Goes Down

Last night sucked.

This happened.

Considering this guy gets up from everything.

It didn’t look good when he didn’t.  Which immediately gave me horrible flashbacks to this.

It’s hard to describe exactly how I felt, but I think this is the closest approximation.

Me = Lance Harbor’s Dad + Jon Voight + Ali Larter + Billy Bob | Derek Jeter = Lance Harbor

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

As a mustache enthusiast, today was a very sad day.  We lost an all-time great today when Keith Hernandez decided to shave his mustache.

Whether he was winning an MVP in St. Louis.

Smoking cigs in the Met’s dugout.

Winning 11 Gold Gloves at first base.

Doing copious amounts of cocaine in the mid ’80s.

 (picture not found)

Frenching Elaine on Seinfeld.

Sleeping on the job.

Or just commenting on how women don’t belong in MLB dugouts.

(video expunged from YouTube)

The ‘stache has always been there.  Alas no longer.

You will be missed.

Happy Birthday Derek Jeter!!

Today, my favorite non-family member turns 38 years old.

With 3,181 hits, Jeter has the third most hits ever by his 38th birthday (only Hank Aaron and Ty Cobb had more).

And he did it the right way.  No chemically induced seasons needed.

I’ve only been in one fight in my life, but call Derek Jeter over-rated and I will punch you in the face.

Also, I’m naming my first born daughter Jeter (future wife, this is non-negotiable).

Happy 38th DEREK!!!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Went to my first Yankee Game of the season tonight (they lost 5-0), here are the three keys to enjoying a game at the New Yankee Stadium.

Cheesesteak (with onions and whiz), peanuts, and a large beer (Budweiser).  I know a hot dog is more sport and city appropriate (and I do love hot dogs), but the cheesesteak holds a special place in my heart.  Sit back and watch the game while sipping on a cold beer, snacking on peanuts and devouring a cheesesteak.  It all comes together so perfectly. I can only say, few things in life are this simple, yet this enjoyable.