Required Reading: Valentine’s Day

I will never write anything on/about Valentine’s Day better than this.  Not even going to try and bite.  Read and enjoy.

vday 500Favorite Excerpt:

 “I then call Drake, who says he is unexpectedly free because, according to him, “Women hate Losers.”  We order delivery thai, watch Season 3 of Degrassi, and I teach him how to perform live without embarrassing his friends and family.  Solid bromantic evening.”

Never have there been truer words written.  I wish I wrote this. #2011 #classicmaterial


There’s many things about corporate America that I’m not in love with.  The fact that they are not enamored by unkempt facial hair is perhaps my least favorite part of being “a professional.”  After months of facial growth, I shaved.

I don’t grow a great beard (some may even say I don’t grow a beard at all instead dismissing it as “scruff”), but it does do some great things.  It hides the fact that I have no chin, a comically small mouth (like a Guess Who? mouth) and a jaw line that can only be described as imaginary.  It’s now gone.  Good-bye sweet beard, good-bye.

Are you happy corporate America?  Now you just have another plain looking white guy.

PSA: Protect Your Parents from AOL

aolOkay, so apparently for the last fourteen years my parents were paying for an email address.  WHAAAATTTTT!??!!

To be more specific,they paid $27.99/month for the last 14 years.  That’s $4,702.32!!!  WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT!??!?!?!!

This came to my attention the other day, when my father’s account got hacked and I was given the responsibility in remedying the situation.  While prodding around in his account I saw, what was to me, a suspicious charge.

“Dad, what is this $28 charge?” I said.

He responded, “That’s how much AOL charges for an email address.”

Of course, anyone that knows anything about the internet knows that’s not right.  For the last fourteen years they were being charged for something called “Advantage Plus” (basically a bunch of AOL perks, non of which my father or mother ever used).

I told him to cancel.  He got really worried he’d lose his email address.  I assured him he wouldn’t.  He would just lose the “perks” he wasn’t using.

A few days went by and I asked him if he ended the “Advantage Plus” program.  He responded, “I haven’t gotten a chance to call them, do you think they have 24 hour call center?”

“Call center?  Dad, it’s an internet service.  You can cancel on the internet.”

I took my laptop and switched him to a free email address in less than three minutes.

Oh, parents.  What are we going to do with you?