The End

It started one night with an epiphany.  It occurred around 2 am, in the form of a self pep-talk in a bathroom mirror, I have these from time to time, they usually consist of me dissecting my life, what am I doing, what should I be doing, where did I go wrong and what should I do to fix it?  It’s always the same questions, but the answers change.  I’ve had these “epiphanies” countless times, but this one stuck.  The answer.  Write.

I’ve never been a good writer, but I’ve always wanted to be.  The plan; write one post everyday for one year.  Practice make perfect, right?  For one year now, I’ve done that, only being interrupted by natural disasters and impromptu road trips.

When I started, I had fantasies of grandeur.  That someone would discover me.  That I would be plucked out of obscurity.  That someone would be so impressed with my musings on Kanye West’s greatness that they couldn’t resist.  That they would pay me real money, in the form of dollars and cents, to write for them.  It never happened.

I became obsessed with getting Freshly Pressed, in my eyes the pickers of the Freshly Pressed were the key holders to the next step.  Then I became consumed with the WordPress stats, checking views, likes and comments, I knew a well placed fashion post would always help boost my numbers.  Then I turned my pursuit back on being Freshly Pressed.  Then back to the stats.  Then back to Freshly Pressed again.  Then I stopped caring.  I started writing things I, and perhaps only I, would find interesting.  That was better.  I never became Freshly Pressed.

During all that, life happened.  I got fired from my job.  My dog died.  I lost touch with some good friends.  My mother had a cancer scare.  My father was diagnosed with stage IV cancer and then, just to pile it on,  was found to have a blocked artery in his heart.  Not to sound over dramatic, but 2012 sucked.

It had been two years since I graduated college and I was still in the same place, expect now with no dog, fewer friends and a sick father. I was 23 years old and my life had already stalled out.  I started Whiskey & Ice Cream Sandwiches roughly a week before any of this happened.  I had no clue how important it would become.

As the days ticked by, writing one post a day gave me some feeling of purpose.  I had committed to myself I would do it.  So I did it.  It kept me thinking.  Maybe it was just a needed distraction, but I would fill my day with trying to come up with ideas. My nights with writing.  It was an escape.  Some days I hated the obligation I made to myself.  A post a day is hard.  If you read the blog at all you could tell which days my mind was fried.

As I thought and thought and wrote and wrote, I surprised myself on what I was writing about.  I had no idea that I would write as much as I did about hip-hop or politics.  I also came to some conclusions.  I really don’t like hip-hop music, I like about 25-30 hip-hop artists, but that’s it.  As much as I pride myself on being a “political nomad,” I’m pretty much a hardcore liberal.  And most importantly I came to the conclusion, that I enjoy writing more than just about anything else in the world.

Earlier, I alluded to how hard it is to write one post every day.  Because of that, this blog became filled with a tremendous amount of filler.  That filler is my least favorite part of this experience.  That’s partly why I’m not extending the Whiskey & Ice Cream Sandwiches experiment to include a year two.  So today ends the Whiskey & Ice Cream Sandwiches period of my life.

But don’t worry, I’m not done droning on about my opinions yet.

So starting March 1st, I, Greg Massaro, am On The Pursuit of Awesomeness.


There’s many things about corporate America that I’m not in love with.  The fact that they are not enamored by unkempt facial hair is perhaps my least favorite part of being “a professional.”  After months of facial growth, I shaved.

I don’t grow a great beard (some may even say I don’t grow a beard at all instead dismissing it as “scruff”), but it does do some great things.  It hides the fact that I have no chin, a comically small mouth (like a Guess Who? mouth) and a jaw line that can only be described as imaginary.  It’s now gone.  Good-bye sweet beard, good-bye.

Are you happy corporate America?  Now you just have another plain looking white guy.

Winding Down

I’m caught in a predicament.  Whiskey & Ice Cream Sandwiches is less than a month away from termination.  I said I’d do it for one year and I intend on keeping that promise.  And truth be told, I’m kind of over it anyway.  Not the whole blogging thing, but the whole Whiskey & Ice Cream Sandwiches thing, over it.  And let’s be honest there is more filler on this blog than a Lil Wayne album.

I’ve already started planning out what my next blogging venture will look like.  I don’t want to disclose too much, but let’s just say there will not be a post a day.  I’ve already started hording post ideas for the new blog.

So here’s the predicament, how do I continue to produce (some-what compelling) content when I’m saving my best ideas for a blog yet to be named?

If you frequent this blog with any kind of regularity, you already know the quality has already begun to slip.  My apologies.  But stick with me, I’ll try and make my ‘B’ material as interesting as possible (expect a lot of screen shots and dumb captions).

Twentysomething: Phase 3

In the long journey of being twentysomething and trying to figure it all out, I’ve gotten nowhere.  Since I’ve graduated college, I have no answers and more questions.  Luckily, I still have six years to unlock the answers that have evaded my first four.

In the pursuit of something/anything, I’ve begun to prep for the third phase my twentysomething journey to somewhere/anywhere.  The first phase was getting a job (a mind numbing one), getting paid (not a lot, but enough), and spending all I had on drunken nights and empty experiences (sowing my wild oats, you might say).  The second phase was losing my job (sort of a blessing in disguise, but really only sort of), starting to write and read as much as possible and experimenting with “mind opening” substances (which may or may not have ended with me sobbing uncontrollably for four hours).   The third phase (which I’m currently preparing for) is a cross country drive I plan on taking alone for about a month, that will (hopefully) combine Thoreauian lonerism and Kerouacian adventureism (four of the last five words are completely made up, but if you follow, good for you, we’re on the same page) to some level of self discovery – or at least that’s what I’m telling my mother.

The first phase was about trying to conform to “the system,” while still trying to live the college life.  The second phase was being rejected by “the system” and trying to figure out where I fit.  The third phase, if I’m being honest, is probably me  just running away from “the system” completely.

So, let’s look at a tentative route for, what I’m calling, “the drive.”


New York (home)Chicago (crash on friend’s couch/floor)
ChicagoWichita (crash on Aunt’s couch/floor, may stop for layover in St Louis)
Wichita – Phoenix (crash on Cousin’s couch/floor)
Phoenix Las Vegas (sleeping arrangement TBD, if anyone knows of a couch/floor/front lawn I can crash on, it would be greatly appreciated)
Las Vegas Yosemite (camp)
Yosemite San Fran (see: Vegas)
San Fran Yuma (crash on Niece’s couch/floor)
YumaAustin (crash on Cousin who I’ve never met before’s couch/floor)
AustinNew Orleans (see: Vegas)
New OrleansSomewhere in Georgia (crash on friend’s couch/floor)
Somewhere in Georgia New York (home)

The trip is planned (once again, tentatively) to embark in about three months (enough time for me to build up some funds for the trip).  While I know most people my age dream of (or have already) backpacking through Europe, seeing the Louvre, Acropolis, and Buckingham Palace, that’s just not for me.  I want to drive through the cornfields of the mid-west, eat copious amounts of smoked meat in the south, and see, in person, the Full House house on the Coast.

Who knows if this trip has the answers? (spoiler alert: it doesn’t).  But hey, it’s definitely something.

Happy New Years

Most people go out on New Year’s Eve.

Girls dress in something short and shinny.  Guys dress in jacketless vests.  Each drop $100+ for an open bar and a terrible DJ.  In a equally terrible club.  The trains are packed.  The city is packed.  The club is packed.

If you can’t tell by now, I don’t go out on NYE.  It’s just not for me.  In my 24 years of life, I’ve always done the same thing.

Throw confetti.


Bang pots and pans.

pots and pans

Wear dumb hats and celebrate with the fam.

gma nye

It’s a tradition.

Happy 2013.

……..Now it’s time for The HoneyMooners.


2 Years

Two years ago I joined the blogging community (sort of, if you count Tumblr as a blog).

And this was my first entry.


20th Dec 2010, I get my quotes from movies because I don’t read.

On an entirely separate note, I hate Riff Raff and everything he stands for.

The Proust Questionnaire

According to Wikipedia, “The Proust Questionnaire is a questionnaire about one’s personality. Its name and modern popularity as a form of interview is owed to the responses given by the French writer Marcel Proust.”

Here are my answers:

1. What is your idea of happiness?

Bleacher seats, peanuts, beer (cheesesteak optional).

2. What is your favorite virtue?

In myself? I would say my ability to see/understand both sides of most issues and arguments.

3. What are your favorite qualities in a man?

Someone intellectual without being pretentious.

4. What are your favorite qualities in a woman?

Trust. And the ability to hold a conversation, a good conversation.

5. What do you most value in your friends?

Someone who understands irony.

6. What is your biggest weakness?

Not being able to communicate what I want. Not going after what I want.

7. What do you enjoy doing most?

Learning new things.

8. What is your idea of misery?

Six AM at a Denny’s an hour outside of Atlantic City after an all-nighter with a crying baby in the background while I eat shitty pancakes.

9. If not yourself, who would you like to be?

Anybody. Preferably someone that can dunk.

10. What is your favorite color?

Red. That was easy?

11. What is your favorite bird?

Bald Eagle. Because I love America.

12. Who are your favorite writers?

Ernest Hemingway. Woody Allen.

13. Who are your favorite poets?

Tupac Shakur. Aubrey Graham. Bob Dylan.

14. Who are your favorite musicians?

Jack White. Kanye West.

15. Who are your favorite heroes and heroines in history?

George Washington. Teddy Roosevelt. Abraham Lincoln. Martin Luther King.

16. Which historical figures do you most dislike?

Hitler. I guess? Isn’t that the general consensus anyway?

17. What event in history do you most admire?

Operation Neptune Spear.

18. What natural gift would you most like to possess?


19. How would you like to die?


20. What is your biggest pet peeve?


21. What is your motto?

YOLO. Chop Wood.