I made a massive, three hour, 50+ track, genre spanning 2012 playlist. It was an all encompassing soundscape of the year that was.
Then I edited down. Trimmed the fat and got it to a tidy 20 songs. A smorgasbord of my favorite songs of the year. Spanning from Jack White to Ke
s$ha, from A S$AP Rocky to Passion Pit, from Action Bronson to Sleigh Bells.
Then I got rid of all the extraneous stuff. (I’ll leave it to Pitchfork and Spin to make the super pretentious playlists of songs that don’t really matter, filled with a bunch of stuff no one outside of Williamsburg actually listens to.)
Seven Tracks. Thirty minutes. These are the only songs that truly matter of 2012.
T h e M a g n i f i c e n t S e v e n
Pop That – French Montana, Rick Ross, Drake, Lil’ Wayne
If a year ago someone told me that I would be putting a French Montana led track on this list, I would punch said person in the face. So why is Pop That on the list? Well, first off, it thrust twerking into the national consciousness. Second off, and most importantly, it gave America this. The most perfect music video of all time. Complete with Drake making weird Drake faces, Lil’ Wayne trying to skateboard, Rick Ross being a complete bawse and French Montana trying his hardest to not look awkward as fuck (spoiler: he fails).
Bandz A Make Her Dance – Juicy J, Lil’ Wayne, 2 Chainz
Hold Me Back – Rick Ross
Could have went with Stay Schemin’. Could have gone with So Sophisticated. Could have picked Diced Pineapples. But all those would have been disingenuous cop outs. Maybe it’s not BMF, but I wholeheartedly believe that God put William Leonard Roberts II on Earth to make this song. Sooo fierce (One quick minus, the amount of self-censoring I have to do when this comes on is absolutely ludicrous.)
Clique – Kanye West, Big Sean, Jay-Z
Most people will tell you that Mercy is better. Most people are wrong. There are exactly four non-terrible moments on Cruel Summer. Three of them are on this track. One, the Hit-boy beat. Two, Jay’s verse. Three, Kanye comparing Maybachs with George Tenet. (If you were wondering, the fourth is the first 18 seconds of Mercy.)
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together – Taylor Swift
I want to make this perfectly clear, this is a TOTALLY SERIOUS inclusion, I repeat, there is not a drip of sarcasm in this choice. It’s just a really, really good song.
Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe – Kendrick Lamar
Poetic Justice has a better beat. Sing About Me and Swimming Pools (Drank) are more socially conscious. Backseat Freestyle gives me an excuse to yell, MARTIN HAD A DREEEEAAAM. But, B,DKMV is maximum – well – vibe out music
Thinkin Bout You – Frank Ocean
If someone ever released a video of me singing-along to this in my car, it would be the most embarrassing moment of my life (like being caught masturbating-type embarrassment levels). I don’t know if this song technically qualifies for a 2012 list (wasn’t it leaked in 2011?), but every music publication seems banded together in their assertion that it is a 2012 track. I could have just as easily put Pyramids on this list, but how many songs about strippers can I have before every one of my female friends calls me a sexist, objectifying, asshole? I mean did you watch the Pop That video (yep, double-linking it)?
T H E P L A Y L I S T
(to be listened to in this order for maximum enjoyment, no shuffling, thank-you and enjoy)