The Proust Questionnaire

According to Wikipedia, “The Proust Questionnaire is a questionnaire about one’s personality. Its name and modern popularity as a form of interview is owed to the responses given by the French writer Marcel Proust.”

Here are my answers:

1. What is your idea of happiness?

Bleacher seats, peanuts, beer (cheesesteak optional).

2. What is your favorite virtue?

In myself? I would say my ability to see/understand both sides of most issues and arguments.

3. What are your favorite qualities in a man?

Someone intellectual without being pretentious.

4. What are your favorite qualities in a woman?

Trust. And the ability to hold a conversation, a good conversation.

5. What do you most value in your friends?

Someone who understands irony.

6. What is your biggest weakness?

Not being able to communicate what I want. Not going after what I want.

7. What do you enjoy doing most?

Learning new things.

8. What is your idea of misery?

Six AM at a Denny’s an hour outside of Atlantic City after an all-nighter with a crying baby in the background while I eat shitty pancakes.

9. If not yourself, who would you like to be?

Anybody. Preferably someone that can dunk.

10. What is your favorite color?

Red. That was easy?

11. What is your favorite bird?

Bald Eagle. Because I love America.

12. Who are your favorite writers?

Ernest Hemingway. Woody Allen.

13. Who are your favorite poets?

Tupac Shakur. Aubrey Graham. Bob Dylan.

14. Who are your favorite musicians?

Jack White. Kanye West.

15. Who are your favorite heroes and heroines in history?

George Washington. Teddy Roosevelt. Abraham Lincoln. Martin Luther King.

16. Which historical figures do you most dislike?

Hitler. I guess? Isn’t that the general consensus anyway?

17. What event in history do you most admire?

Operation Neptune Spear.

18. What natural gift would you most like to possess?


19. How would you like to die?


20. What is your biggest pet peeve?


21. What is your motto?

YOLO. Chop Wood.


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