The Five Greatest Marriages of All-Time

5.  James Carville and  Mary Matalin

So what if James Carville draws a striking resemblance to Golem from Lord of the Rings?  So what if he may have framed Roger Rabbit?  And so what if Mary Matalin is contractually obligated to only wear clothing in pantsuit form?  Shakespeare had  Romeo and Juliet, we have Carville and Matalin.  Instead of the Montagues and the Capulets, it’s the Bushs and the Clintons.  In the 1992 presidential election, Carville was campaign manager for Bill Clinton while Matalin was campaign manager for George H.W Bush.  In 1993 they were married.  In 2012, they still don’t agree and they’re still adorable.

4.  Jay-Z and Beyonce

Watch the 03 Bonnie & Clyde video.  Now watch the Crazy in Love video.  You just watched arguably the two coolest people in the world, and they’re married.  Think about that for a second and let it set in, THE TWO COOLEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD ARE MARRIED.  I guess that makes sense, but I still can’t quite wrap my head around it, shouldn’t a relationship have some sort of “cool quota”?  It’s just unfair.  When they’re not making platinum albums or selling out stadiums, they’re hanging out at the White House with Barry and Michelle or kicking it with Gwyneth and Chris or just chopping it up with O.  To reiterate these are two coolest people IN THE WORLD, and yeah, they just combined chromosomes to make a baby AKA Blue Ivey AKA the future leader of the free world.

3.  Brad and Tori

Who says you can’t find love on reality TV?  Brad was on The Real World San Diego (the original), Tori was on Road Rules 2007: Viewers Revenge (anyone else remember Road Rules?), they met on RW/RR Challenge: The Gauntlet III (MTV’s best piece of programming EVER).  Brad played the consummate good guy (albeit a bit dim) who ALWAYS got screwed in the end (and was the ONLY worthy foil to CT).  Tori was the beauty queen/emotional wreck.  After eight Challenges, three finals and one of the greatest Challenge moments ever, Brad finally won (with Tori at his side of course), had a baby and retired from reality TV.  To Brad and Tori (yeah, that’s Wes, Evan and Cameran in the wedding party).

2.  Clair and Cliff Huxtable

I don’t often use this word, but there’s only one word that accurately describes Cliff Huxtable.  And that word is, SWAG.  Combine Cliff’s swag with Clair’s class and you get one of the greatest marriages ever.  A marriage that yielded four of the coolest kids around and Vanessa.  I can’t explain it, just watch:

What did I tell you?  SWAG.

1.  John and Donna Massaro

This picture was taken thirty years ago today on my parent’s first wedding anniversary.  Yep, that makes today my parent’s 31st Anniversary.  And they have unequivocally the greatest marriage of all time.  I put full blame on them for my disillusions of love at first sight and believing in “one true loves.”  They’re in their sixties now and I can still catch them making out on the couch, which is mostly gross but still sort of endearing.  They still go out dancing at least once a week.  They still take trips out east to visit the wineries or head into the city to catch a Broadway show.  But most nights they just sit next to each other and watch their shows on CBS until my Dad falls asleep on the couch and my mother wakes him and tells him to come up to bed.  Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad.  Not to be overly sentimental, but I think all I want, is what they have.


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