Mitt Vs. Hov

68 Days Till The 2012 Presidential Election.

  They say Mitt’s a “genius” when it comes to business, but lets see how he compares to a real business man.

Mitt

Co-Founder/CEO of Bain Capital (1986-2002)
CEO  of 2002 Winter Olympics Organizing Committee (1999-2002)

Hov

Co-Founder of Roc-A-Fella Records (1996-2006)
Co-Founder/CEO of Rocawear (1999-2007)
Co-Owner of 40/40 (2003-present)
President of Def Jam (2004-2007)
Co-Founder of Roc Nation (2008-present)

Throw Your Rocs in the Air

Warren Buffet Knows What I’m Talking About.

J A Y – Z   f o r  P R E S I D E N T

A Quick Note

I take notes when I’m drunk.

It started in college.  It was Senior Ball.  The last hurrah for graduating seniors.  The guys got dressed in suits.  The girls in dresses.  It was at Chelsea Piers.  People arrived in limos.  It was basically prom with an open bar.

I figured these would be my last memories of college.  I wanted to remember them.  I also figured the words “open bar” would probably play a role in fuzzy-fying those memories.  I know some people take pictures to combat that problem, but pictures only tell half the story.  I wanted to remember what I was thinking more than what I was doing.  I already knew what I was going to do.  I was going to (in this order) drink, dance, drink more, rock out to Party in the USA, drink more, make a fool of myself, drink more, make a terribly ill-advised move on somebody, eat pizza, go home, fall asleep.  You know the typical night out.

I took notes on my iPhone the entire night.  The outcome.  The most embarrassing thing I ever wrote.  It was probably also the best thing I ever wrote.  I deleted it a week later.  But that tradition continues.  After a few shots, my phone comes out and I take note of whatever important thoughts are in my head.

I went out Monday night for a friend’s birthday.  I took a look at my phone today and there’s a note I have no recollection of writing (or even thinking).

“Your type is blonde and foreign looking
It’s a wonderful world”

What does THAT mean?  I feel like Leonard Shelby in Memento right now.  I Googled the phrase, thinking maybe it was from a song or something.  Google had no idea what I was talking about.  None.  My type is decidedly not blonde (ahem ahem ahem), maybe sometimes foreign looking (ahem), but still not blonde.  So who is the “your” I’m referring too?  And why is it a wonderful world?  And are these two separate thoughts or are they connected?  Was there a beautiful blonde foreign looking girl in the bar that made me think it was a wonderful world?  If so, who was she and where is she now?  I’ve got too many questions right now.  I thought I remembered most of the night, obviously I didn’t, because I have no recollection of even thinking about blondes, foreigners or it being a wonderful world.

Moral: Next time take better notes.

It Was All For Naught

After feeling certain this was my big break.  Grantland’s decided to go all ex-girlfriend on me and not return my emails.  I get it.  I get it.  You met someone smarter, taller, better, whatever.  No hard feelings but I’m actually crushed right now.

Anyway since Grantland won’t be using it, I’ll throw my submission up here, 750 words of fantasy football talk.  Top five players and one (and only one) sleeper.

Grantland Submission

1) Aaron Rodgers
“Safety first, then teamwork” ~ Saul Silver, Pineapple Express

A number one pick won’t win you your league, but it can definitely lose you your league (see; Jamaal Charles circa 2011, Shaun Alexander circa 2006, Frank Gifford circa 1960).  Put it this way, if your number one pick get’s injured your season is probably over, it‘s that simple.  A lot of people will tout Arian Foster, Ray Rice or Maurice Jones-Drew as their number one, but a running back’s health is as unpredictable as Chris Brown’s temper.  Combine that with the NFL’s maniacal infatuation with protecting the quarterback (especially, star quarterbacks) and Rodgers is easily my guy.  Everyone who knows football (Ron Jaworski, NFL.com, Scouts Inc) agrees he’s the best QB on the planet, factor in the insane talent around him (Greg Jennings, Jordy Nelson, Jermichael Finely), the high octane offense he plays in, his running ability, and the fact that he’s just now entering his prime (28 years old).  It’s no contest.

2)  Arian Foster
“Seeing is believing.” ~ Someone who I suspect saw something and then in turn believed it.

Forget the numbers, have you SEEN this guy cut.  Barry Sanders retired when I was 10, he’s the only running back I’ve seen that could cut with the same ferocity (and allegedly O.J., but that’s another story).  Foster’s one of the best pass catching backs in the league (50+ receptions each of the past two seasons) and he plays in the best rushing scheme in the NFL.  Is it safe to say Gary Kubiack was the brains behind that vaunted Broncos’ rushing attack of the late nineties and early aughts?  Steve Slaton had 1,200 yards in his scheme for Christ-sake and the amalgam of nearly unownable RBs in Washington isn’t doing much for Mike Shanahan’s legacy.  Oh, and if you do want to look at the numbers, Foster averaged nearly 140 total yards per game over the last two years.

3)  LeSean McCoy
“It’s not personal, it’s strictly business.” ~ Michael Corleone, The Godfather

When drafting don’t let personal feelings get in the way of your draft.  I’m a Giants fan, the Eagles are division rivals, but if McCoy falls to me, I’m taking him.  He’s Brian Westbrook 2.0; an explosive back with awesome vision that can make guys miss and possesses great hands (78 receptions two years ago).  Even if he can’t duplicate the twenty touchdowns he had last season, he’ll still get a ton of work in the red zone.

4)  Tom Brady
“Don’t trust a big butt and a smile” ~ Bell Biv Deveo, Poison

Tom Brady isn’t a sexy pick (cough-Calvin Johnson–cough), but sexy picks don’t usually pan out (just ask Kris Humphries) and no one’s ever regretted taking Tom Brady (sans 2008).  He’s as safe as they come, and there’s no shame in that.  Brady’s reuniting with offensive coordinator Josh McDainels, the last time these two hooked up Brady had the best statistical season of his career (50 TDS!!!).  He’s got his safety valve Wes Welker, he’s got his Jack of all traits Aaron Hernandez, he’s got the seemingly always shirtless Rob Gronkowski, and now he’s even got a legitimate deep threat in Brandon Lloyd (a Josh McDainels favorite).

5) Ray Rice
“Say hello to my little friend.” ~ Tony Montana, Scarface

Ray Rice should have the words “Work Horse” tattooed across his forehead.  He’s accumulated over 1,200 yards each of the past three years, has reeled in over 75 receptions two of the last three years, and hasn’t missed a game since his rookie year.  Is there anything else you need to know?

Sleeper: Fred Davis
“The most valuable commodity I know is information.” ~Gordon Gekko, Wall Street   

There’s a bit of an information overload in fantasy sports today.  With fantasy experts’ reporting on everything a guy like Titus Young does at OTAs, minicamps and practices, sleepers’ values tend to be as inflated as Facebook’s IPO.  Maybe he’s not a deep sleeper, but I like Fred Davis (Redskins TE).  In ESPN drafts he’s going as the ninth TE off the board.  I guarantee you he’ll finish as a top four TE (and I’m pretty confident he’ll finish top three).  Last season Davis was on pace for over 1,000 yards (only Gronk and Jimmy Graham eclipsed that number) before he was suspended for marijuana use.  Just think what he can do now that he won’t be making those late night Cheesy Gordita Crunch runs.

Lazy Sunday

With Labor Day barbecues next weekend and fantasy football starting the week after that, today will be my last Lazy Sunday for the foreseeable future.

click image for video

I’m spending this Sunday sleeping till one, snacking on do-si-dos and listening to my first ever album…Backstreet Boys.  Brian, Nick, Howie, Kevin and A.J.

  #DontJudgeMe

The Sunglasses Hall of Fame: Sunglasses and Advil

A few months ago I began curating the first ever Sunglasses Hall of Fame. The Sunglasses Hall of Fame will honor those who have shown a steadfast appreciation for sunglasses, have pushed sunglass culture further and have influenced the current sunglass  landscape.   

Tom Cruise was the inaugural member to the Sunglasses Hall of Fame.  Today, he will welcome a second member.

Mr. Kanye Omari West.

In the 21st century no man has put his stamp on Sunglass culture more than Kanye West.  Whether it’s single-handedly bringing back shutter shades (picture below) or unabashedly wearing sunglasses inside, at night or anytime he pleases, he continues to drip swagu.

Classic Kanye Sunglass Moments include:

Stronger
Gold Digger
808s and Heartbreaks
2007 VMAs

G.O.O.D. Music Cypher
2008 Grammy’s
Vman Cover
All of the Lights

Congratulations to Kanye West on joining The Sunglasses Hall of Fame.