Drivel

SKIP: WHAT FOLLOWS IS PRETTY STUPID.

Wow.  Just got caught in a mood right now.  It’s a mood I hate.  It’s been festering under the surface for the past few days, but it just hit me really hard.  I think reading this, really set it off.  I can’t listen to music right now, because it only intensifies it.  I don’t want it intensified.  I want it gone.  I wanted to distract myself from it, so I started reading a bunch of sports articles (sports is my favorite distraction), but maybe I should just give into it and see where it takes me.  I guess that’s why I’m writing this now (steer into the skid, right?).  I know I haven’t quite described the mood yet.  I don’t know if I can.  I don’t know if I want to.  All I’ll say is it’s like a Smith’s song, not one in particular, just the overall timbre of their sound.  It’s not a heartbreak feeling or a depressed feeling, although strands of those may exist in the mood, I don’t really know.  Or maybe I do know and it’s just easier to lie to myself.  I feel really dumb writing this. I hate expressing my feelings, and the fact that I’m totally hedging on expressing my feelings right now pisses me off even more.  I hate hedging and I hedge on everything.  Going all in is better, but it takes more balls.  That’s just an aside though.  None of this makes sense, I’m sure, and I will probably delete this once I read it.  Ugh, giving in.  Listening to The Smiths on Spotify.  Never mind, mood faded.  It will probably return by the end of the week though.  Ugh.

Whoever reads this (not that there’s many of you), sorry for subjecting you to this drivel, I’ll write about something better tomorrow.  I promise.

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