The Definitive Guide to Gregs (and Gregorys)

I’m totally biting Kool Keith on this one.

I present you “The Definitive Guide to Gregs (and Gregorys)”…Greggs need not apply.

GREGORY HINES
“So much swag, it’s silly.”

GREG GUMBEL
“Arguably a top two Gumbel.”

GREG MADDUX
“Wore glasses before it was cool.”

GREG ANTHONY
“Looks like Waldo from Family Matters.”

GREG LOUGANIS
“Funny name.”

GREG KINNEAR
“The most generic white guy ever.”

GREGORY PECK
“The coolest white guy ever (not named Frank Sinatra).”

GREG ODEN
“One really big dude.”

GREG GIRALDO
“One pretty funny dude.  RIP.”

GREG MASSARO
“Has been known to rock women’s sunglasses like a BAWSE.”

One Week Till Bonnaroo

The team has been assembled, the tickets have been secured, spreadsheets have been made, and, now, Bonnaroo 2012 is only one week away.

Like any great team, the team fits the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Paradigm perfectly.  Allow me to introduce the team , John (our Raphael), Justin (our Donatello), Brett (our Michelangelo), and, of course, Me (our Leonardo).  **I’d like to note, in all those pictures we are wearing our TMNT appropriate colors.**

Over the last few weeks the team has exchanged, “Bananaroo Songs of the Day” (named for Justin’s inability to correctly spell Bonnaroo).  Loose YouTube clips were sent back and forth over Facebook Messenger.  The current playlist sounds like this:

Contributions to the playlist:

Justin:
Tune-Yards
Flogging Molly
Gary Clark Jr
Mac Miller
Avett Brothers
Rodrigo y Gabriela
Dispatch
Robert Randolph and the Family Band
The Beach Boys

Me:
Young the Giant
Little Dragon
The Kooks
Childish Gambino
The Roots
City and Colour
Alabama Shakes
fun.
Santigold
Kendrick Lamar
SBTRKT

Brett:
Foster the People
Ludacris
Big Gigantic
Red Hot Chili Peppers

John:
SOJA
Radiohead

The Golden Age of The WB

In the late 90s The WB aired two shows that left an inedible mark in my mind.  The Jamie Foxx Show and Unhappily Ever After.  I’ve watched clips of these shows recently and they are both all kinds of bad.  For the life of me I can’t figure out why I liked these shows so much (hmm, I wonder).

The Jamie Foxx Show

Corny and campy, yes, but it does achieve some laughs.  Back before Jamie was an Oscar winning/terrible actor, he was starring in his own self titled sitcom.  The show is chock full of stock characters.  The loving (and overweight) Aunt, the gambling Uncle, the sexy love interest, and the nerdy, uptight foil, all revolving around the slick talking Jamie.  When I was young I loved Jamie, and of course Fancy, but now in my maturity Garrett Morris kills it, and , oh yea, Fancy’s still fine.

Unhappily Ever After

Wow, this is terrible.  It’s apparent the only two reasons I watched this show was Nikki Cox.  The show functions as a total Married with Children rip off, bum father, check, sexy daughter, check, dim witted brother, check, not to mention an eerily similar set.  And, oh yea, that’s totally E from Entourage.  Is this show awful? Wait, hold on, Nicki Cox just came on screen.  What did I ask again? Oh yea, the shows awful. Awful, awful, awful.

JIMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!

This a must for any Jimmy Fallon fan.  Interactive Backstage Tour.

It’s an unlisted video.  So, You’re Welcome.

Summer Tanks

Memorial Day is just around the corner, signifying Summer is Here.  Last summer a disturbing trend arose, this year it looks like it’s taking over.

  THE TANK TOP.  And I HATE tank tops.  Hate, hate, hate them  This summer fight the good fight.

And Rock a Pocket Tee.  We can beat this thing, people.

USA USA USA!!!

WOW. Those are some ugly jerseys.

But, 5-1, that’ was some beautiful football soccer (including a goal from General Bradley).

Okay, It was against Scotland, rein yourself in Greg.

F*** You Greg!  Let me enjoy this.

My Least Favorite Person in the World

So according to Bill Simmons, he knows, for a FACT, that Phil Jackson (and his ten rings) wants to coach next season. He also knows, for a FACT, he wanted the Knicks’ job.  He also knows, for a FACT, that James Dolan didn’t want any part of Phil Jackson.

So I would just like to say: F***********CK YOU, JAMES DOLAN!!!!!!! YOU’RE THE WORST OWNER IN PROFESSIONAL SPORTS AND I HATE YOU!!!!!!

My Internet

I spend an inordinate amount of time on the internet.  So, what am I doing on the Internet all day? Glad you asked.  Here’s my most visited sites.

1. Thought Catalog: If you’re in your twenties you know what this is, if you’re not, you probably won’t get it.

2.  Grantland: Sports, pop culture, podcasts.  Bill Simmon’s brain child.

3.  Facebook: Duh.

4. Tumblr: Tumblr > Twitter, ‘nough said.

5.  Complex:  Where I get my hip hop/street wear/miscellaneous pop culture news.

6.  Gmail: Duh, again.

7.  WhatIfSports: A nerdy sim-based sports game.  Keeping my sports nerd alive.

8.  Yahoo Sports:  Best fantasy sports interface (sorry ESPN and CBS) and best place to find scores quick (again, sorry ESPN).

9.  WordPress:  If you’re here, no explanation needed.

10.  ESPN:  I like sports.  What can I say.

11.  Conquer Club:  Risk online.  Nerdy?  Yes.  Awesome?  Yes.

12.  WTF:  Best podcast on the interweb (no debate necessary).

America, I Love You

I love America. And NEED THIS.

Also, this would be nice.

Odd/Random Turn-Ons

You know the basic turn-ons guys have, eyes, legs, sense of humor, etcetera.  I have those too, everyone does, but, for whatever reason, I also have a few totally random, totally odd turn-ons that get me almost every time.

Fashion

Pocket Dresses

I didn’t even know dresses could have pockets, until like two years ago.  I don’t know what it is about the pocket that draws me in so much.  They seem so cool and casual.  I don’t know if that makes sense, but I like them.

    Off the Shoulder Sweater/Sweatshirts

Whenever a girl wears a sweatshirt and shows shoulder, it’s a huge turn-on.  I don’t even know why girls bother with hoodies.  (Over sized sweatshirts in general are a plus)

Yellow Dresses

I’ve never met a yellow dress I didn’t like.  Every woman should own a yellow dress.  EVERY WOMAN.

Habits

Girls Who Read on the Subway (non trilogy based works)

It makes you look smart and cute.  And I feel like it’s something Zooey Deschanel would do.

Girls Who Drink Whiskey

Jack, Jameson or Jim Beam, its all good to me.  I know sometimes you might need that Red Bull and Vodka to keep you going, and some occasions just call for a tequila shot, but I love a girl goes whose first choice is whiskey.

Girls Who Listen to Bands I Don’t Know I Like

Introduce me to something good, I don’t know about yet, please (as long as it’s not house).

Other

A Girl Who Knows What a Flux Capacitor Is

I don’t really feel like explaining this one.  You either know what it is or you don’t.